My dear brother or sister,
I wanted to share with a you a song (you may already know it) that really helped (and still helps) me when I was struggling with knowing God's Will for my life. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPoxM0D_0n8 ) I still pray it at every Mass when the priest is preparing the gifts. And I wanted to share with you what the lyrics mean to me and how I make them my prayer.
"Everything I am
Everything I long to be
I lay it down
At Your feet"
Everything I am - my goodness and my sin, my limitations, my fears, my inadequacies, my doubts, my struggles, what I like and what I hate about myself, all that I am I give it to Jesus
Everything I long to be - all of my desires for myself and my future, whether it is what He desires or not, I give it all to Him and trust that if what I long to be is not what I am meant to be, then He has something better in store for me
I lay it down - I give it all to Him
At Your feet - at the foot of Calvary, the most difficult place to be
"Oh, pearl of greatest price
No act of sacrifice
Can match the gift of Life
I find within Your gaze"
Oh, pearl of greatest price - holiness and the gift of Jesus Himself is the pearl of greatest price. It is so incredibly beautiful but it is going to cost me everything
No act of sacrifice; can match the gift of Life; I find within your gaze - but even though it will cost me everything, even though it means intense sacrifice, it is nothing compared to having the love of Jesus; I'm willing to do anything, to sacrifice anything, to endure anything, because in the end the reward is SO great that I will not remember the sacrifice, except in gratitude and joy that it brought me to Him
"Oh, what a sweet exchange
I die to rise again
Lifted up from the grave
Into your hands of grace"
How difficult is our faith! That it calls us to die to ourselves in order to truly live. But what a sweet exchange it is once we are raised from that death to GRACE.
My heart is reaching out for you, dear Christian. And I know that in difficult moments it is really hard to hear the God message but I hope that it encourages you, even just to know that I have had the same doubts- the doubt that I don't know what God really wants, and if I think I know what God wants, is it really what He wants or is it just what I want - and I still have these doubts time and again. I will be offering up many, many prayers for you as that is the only way I feel that I can help.
"A virtue that can be a great help in our spiritual growth is TRUST.
There are 4 levels in which trust is "questioned" during discernment:
1. TRUSTING that God has a plan
2. TRUSTING that God's plan is good in itself and good for me
3. TRUSTING that I will discover His plan
4. TRUSTING that I will be able to embrace it once I discovered it.
The first two levels speak of trust towards God.
The last two levels speak of trust towards ourselves."
These levels build on each other and it is clear to see that the first two levels (the easier levels) have to do with trusting God while the last two levels (the more difficult levels) have to do with trusting our self. And how true this is! How easy it is to trust God - He is perfect! And how difficult it is to trust our self - we are so imperfect! And yet we must as for the grace of being able to trust that we will be able to discover His Will for our life and that we will be able to act upon it.
I know it definitely does not seem like this now, but I look at the beautiful opportunity that God has right now to mold you and draw you into an even deeper love for and faith in Him. May our Blessed Mother, on the day we remember her "yes" to God's Will, lead you to know and embrace His Will for you by her most power intercession and her beautiful example.
I love you, dear Christian. Peace be with your spirit!
